My mother never bought me Dunkaroos as a kid. Maybe because they are cookies that you dip in frosting. The ingredients list reads like a who’s-who of what should never enter your body:

Sugar, Water, High Maltose Corn Syrup, Tommy Lee, Wheat Starch, Salt, Distilled Monoglyceride, Polysorbate 60, Sodium Tripolyphosphate, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Citric Acid, Nonfat Milk, Potassium Sorbate.

Or maybe it was the fact that the commercial mentions “triple fisting it.” I may have been an overexposed kid, but I thought that was a weird thing to say way back when this first aired. Where does that third fist come from? How is this not incredibly creepy?