Have you ever loved something so very much… but for all the wrong reasons? I’ve recently been watching this show Monk, about a detective with OCD. It was all the rage with retired people and housewives years ago, but I didn’t pay much attention to it until I burned through all the good TV on Netflix. Monk is a perfectly acceptable television show — that is to say there’s nothing wrong with it — but each episode follows a very strict template. Detective Monk’s keen observation skills allow him to discover the true culprit of an otherwise perfect crime. In fact, half the time he confronts the criminal with “It would have been the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing…” I find that hilarious. Probably too hilarious.
Much to the annoyance of my friends, I’ve been constantly prefacing random facts with the statement.
“It would have been the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: salamanders are colorblind.”
“It would have been the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: George Washington died on December 14, 1799. There’s no way you could have had lunch with him on the day in question.”
“It would have been the perfect crime, but you forgot one thing: automobiles run on gasoline, not orange juice.”
Try it, it’s fun! I’ve also been making image macros, because those are like currency on the internet. If the producers of Monk are reading this, you guys should know that I’ve got a million of these. Here’s my pitch: a robot detective with OCD in space. Bam! That’s television’s next Firefly right there.