Posts Tagged ‘philadelphia’

On a clear day, you can see for biles

The postcard for this year’s Philadelphia Alternative Comic Con, being held this year on August 14th at the Rotunda in West Philly.  I sort of have a thing for malformed caricatures of popular comic characters, so this illustration, for me, goes beyond beauty.  I especially love the inclusion of those Spider-Sense™ lines.

If you’re in the region I highly recommend checking out PACC.  Last year’s show was phenomenal and introduced me to a lot of amazing artists that I otherwise would have never encountered.

 

The Propensity for Ruins

Drexel School, 16th & Moore

I live in Newbold, which is one of those fancy “revitalized” Philly neighborhoods. It used to be part of Point Breeze up until a few years ago, when nice families started moving in and local business owners stopped getting shot. One of my favorite parts about living here is walking past the Drexel School every day. It’s a big old 19th century elementary school. I think it’s been abandoned for as long as I’ve been alive… there are trees growing out of the top. It’s like something out of Jumanji, except I never have to see Kirsten Dunst’s stupid face. It adds a very cool touch to the neighborhood.

But the Drexel School’s days are numbered! The historic site is being destroyed. Workers appear to be doing it brick by brick, as if they want the ghost of Francis Drexel to slowly suffer. I can understand why it’s being taken down. I mean, the place is a total death trap right now. The interior is in shambles and it would take tons of fifty dollar bills to fix it.

Drexel School interior, 16th & Moore

You can check out many more great photos at this Flickr page. The big question is: what new structure will replace this awesome old building?

Newbold Courts

Luxury townhomes. Yay! That’s so much better than a grocer or a restaurant or a park or any of the other things my neighborhood could use. I will be calling these townhomes Douchebag Village.

 

“Point Breeze” sounded less… murdery.

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A week or so ago I relocated to a beautiful rowhouse in South Philadelphia. It’s great! Redone hardwood floors, massive ceilings, tons of rooms, a dug out (and finished!) basement… there’s even a heated walk-in closet right off the bathroom. This place is so classy that I will have no problem finding someone to love me and make my life feel rewarding again.

What isn’t great about this house is the goddamn transit strike that punched me in the throat like two days after I moved in. Thankfully it ended today, but I was leaving the house at 5:30AM every morning and not getting home until 9PM some nights. Not to mention that I had to walk through some questionable areas. The Dunkin Donuts on 16th street is crazy tempting after walking for two miles, despite the trans-fat content.

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I’m a pretty hungry dude, so I spend a lot of time cooking. I looked at several dozen houses before settling. All those places had electric stoves. This one is gas. That means we win. You can come over for brunch and I’ll cook, like, some baked eggs with leeks and swiss chard and maybe a rosemary tea cake if you have a sweet tooth and everything will come out totally awesome. This stove will not let you down.

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Four piece bathroom. It’s off the hook. I can potentially be taking a bath while a sexual partner is washing my disease off of him or her in the shower. And then another person could be brushing their teeth at the sink, and another person could be peeing using the toilet. That’s like four people in the bathroom right there. I could have bathroom parties. Look, I’ve already designed the invites!

bathroomparty

Hmm. Let’s stop talking about this and move on with our lives.

 

It was an 0F on the shame scale

Have you ever been in a situation that was so embarrassing that you actually started praying for an apocalyptic event, as the loss of all human life on this planet would be preferable to the discomfort you were experiencing at that moment? Let me entertain you with a story!

I volunteer at a chiptune show once a month in Philadelphia called 8static. It’s pretty awesome, and I’ve been a fan for a long time, so I love being able to help out with taking tickets, hanging posters or whatever to support the show. One of the perks of volunteering is that I can bring a guest for free. My friend Ryan heard about the audio mixing workshop before this month’s show and wanted to check it out. So he was going to be my plus one, as the French say.

Except Ryan was really late and completely missed the workshop. His excuse was that he had to stop and eat an entire pizza on the way. When he did finally show up, he was obviously drunk. No Carrier (who organizes the event) came over and I introduced them to one another. Ryan starts pointing to me dramatically, saying “I love this guy!” No Carrier tried to be nice, with a reply along the lines of “Uh, yeah, he’s great.”

Then Ryan decides to up the ante: “No, you don’t understand. I love him sexually.” There was an accompanying hand motion.

I guess he thought it would be a hilarious thing to say. It wasn’t. I wanted to die. I’m surrounded by tons of really cool musicians and some guy in a soiled Nike t-shirt is talking about doing me. And he’s my guest.

On top of that, he was trash talking open mic performers. “That dude needs to get his head out of his ass! That was terrible!” Keep in mind that 8static is hosted in a rather intimate venue, so when he said such things, everyone could hear him.

After two sets of that, we had to leave. As in, Ryan decided that he was tired and we had to leave. So I didn’t get to see Covox or Nullsleep play. The entire ride back to South Philly I just kept thinking “Oh man… is this really my friend?” But I suppose true friendship extends beyond the limitations of common sense, civility and hygiene.

Besides, it could have been much worse. Ryan could have pulled out his cell phone and shown everyone video evidence of his loving me sexually. That would have been awkward.

 
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